Bottoming is nothing new. It occurs all around the world. It’s an act that dates again to the traditional Greeks and has been depicted repeatedly in artifacts from eras lengthy gone. It’s widespread and pure, one thing that even animals do. A tail as outdated as time (sure, that was a pun). I’ve talked in regards to the matter earlier than. So why then as a society are we so obsessive about, but so misinformed about bottoming?
Let me again up a minute for these of you which are unfamiliar with the phrase, bottoming. Its root, backside, is a colloquial time period used to explain a person who likes and receives anal intercourse. Historically, this entails the insertion of their associate’s penis. However bottoms and bottoming have turn into a lot greater than that. Bottoming within the twenty first century has turn into a signifier, a cultural id for some. It’s a manner of carrying oneself or how one presents themself to the world. Mainly, it’s a vibe.
All of that may be very intimidating in case you’re intrigued by bottoming however have by no means taken the plunge. It’s additionally why homosexual males have been made the butt (yup, one other pun) of so many jokes, often associated to anal intercourse and submission. If our final backside weblog was a information, contemplate this one a gospel. What follows is an overview of a number of the most pervasive myths about bottoming and why it’s time we let go of our false beliefs about anal intercourse and all simply get pleasure from it already.
1. Bottoming is for homosexual males solely
Maybe the most important false impression about bottoming is that it’s one thing that solely homosexual males do. Nicely, it’s time to cease dwelling up to now. It’s 2022, and bottoming lately is for everybody (if they need it, in fact). In truth, a examine printed in 2016 discovered that greater than 30% of heterosexual-identifying folks reported bottoming up to now yr (Hess). It’s additionally essential to level out that not all homosexual males interact in bottoming both. So simply because traditionally males who’ve intercourse with males have partaken in bottoming extra generally than others, doesn’t imply there may be something inherently homosexual about anal intercourse.
Everybody’s anus is chock-full of nerve endings that facilitate each pleasure and ache. When these nerves are stimulated the precise manner, it might really feel fairly superior. And also you don’t even need to go in that far to do the stimulating. The nerve endings are richest across the opening so just a little further consideration to the anus can go a great distance. A lightweight contact or flick of the tongue out of your associate to the world can take intercourse and orgasm to the subsequent degree.
Slightly deeper inside is the rectum, which additionally has an ample nerve provide. Each the anus and rectum have the power to increase and are particularly delicate to strain. And we will’t neglect in regards to the prostate. In people with a prostate, the pleasure from anal penetration could be out of this world as a result of this erogenous zone is definitely stimulated by means of the rectal wall. And so is, imagine it or not, the clitoris. Sure, that’s proper, the clitoris can get pleasure from bottoming simply as a lot because the prostate. The crura of the clitoris run alongside the vaginal opening and sit adjoining to the rectum so bottoming could be a pleasurable expertise for every kind of anatomies.
When you’ve uncoupled sexual orientation (and gender id for that matter) from bottoming, you may enable your self to discover your bottom and dip your toes within the backside finish of the pool. Whether or not you have got a penis, clitoris, or prostate, bottoming could be pleasurable.
2. Bottoming entails penetration
As I’ve already alluded to, bottoming doesn’t essentially even need to contain penile penetration. It may be a lot extra. Anal intercourse can embrace fingering, use of a vibrator, dildo, or butt plug, rimming, and/or pegging. Rimming, typically referred to as anilingus, describes the act of offering oral stimulation to your associate’s anus. Pegging refers to a sexual follow during which an individual performs anal intercourse on a male associate by penetrating their anus with a intercourse toy or strap-on dildo. The pegging recipient doesn’t essentially establish as homosexual or queer. So with regards to bottoming, increase your thoughts, let go, and permit your self to benefit from the journey.
3. Bottoming means you’re submissive
Inherent within the phrases high and backside is an age-old energy dynamic. A high is usually regarded as dominating, the “actual man” in a sexual encounter or relationship. Bottoms, then again, are too usually perceived as female or submissive. In French, the slang time period for backside is passif, actually which means passive. Nicely, it’s time to throw these energy dynamics out the window. Bottoming shouldn’t be synonymous with give up or acquiescence. Simply since you like bottoming doesn’t imply you may’t be the aggressor within the bed room. In truth, there’s a time period for that too: energy backside. So if bottoming is what you want, then do it confidently and reclaim your energy, Backside!
4. Bottoming is harmful
Bottoming, like every other sort of intercourse, could be completely secure when completed appropriately. The trick is communication. Bottoming isn’t simply one thing you bounce into. There’s preparation. There’s respiration, stress-free, and lubrication wanted. Typically it takes a minute and it’s alright to let your associate know. Don’t be afraid to speak if one thing hurts or doesn’t really feel proper. When you’re the highest within the scenario: pay attention extra, thrust much less. When there are two folks concerned, bottoming requires a relentless forwards and backwards to essentially get these pleasure neurons firing.
5. Bottoming is meant to harm
This piggybacks off the earlier level. No sort of intercourse is meant to harm (until you need it to, in fact). That’s true for oral, vaginal, anal, or no matter sort of intercourse you’re into. When you’re new to the bottoming sport, go sluggish. And use numerous lube, like ASTROGLIDE’s X Silicone Liquid lubricant. This can assist make the journey smoother and stop discomfort or harm.
It’s most likely additionally clever to heat up earlier than the massive bottoming sport. When you’re with a associate, ask them to heat your bottom up by rimming the world first. When you’re alone, begin with a finger earlier than working your manner as much as larger objects. And undoubtedly cease if issues begin to damage. Bear in mind: with regards to bottoming, follow makes good. When you’re new to anal intercourse, observe the following pointers and earlier than you realize it, you’ll be an skilled backside.
6. Bottoming doesn’t require safety
Protected intercourse was an idea largely propagated throughout the peak of the HIV/AIDS disaster. And it’s one thing I feel lots of people take as a right now. Many non-queer individuals who could now be venturing into the world of bottoming may additionally be misinformed in regards to the significance of utilizing safety throughout anal intercourse. Simply because you may’t get somebody pregnant from anal intercourse, doesn’t imply you shouldn’t nonetheless wrap it up. Peno-anal penetration and not using a condom is taken into account the riskiest type of sexual exercise. Utilizing a condom will assist scale back your threat of STI and HIV.
You also needs to preserve a watch out for potential accidents. Bleeding throughout bottoming does occur once in a while, however it isn’t regular. Gentle discomfort, particularly if you’re first beginning out, can also be widespread however persistent ache isn’t regular both. If bleeding or ache happens usually, it might point out an even bigger drawback. It is best to abstain from extra bottoming till the issue resolves. If these points don’t resolve then undoubtedly search out medical recommendation.
One other manner of defending your self is to at all times clear your toys between use and earlier than utilizing in your associate. Vaginal infections, together with urinary tract and yeast infections, may end up from vigorous bottoming, particularly if toys are concerned. Cleaning soap and water are ample for some toy cleansing, however there are a number of merchandise on the market that may assist preserve your intercourse toys so recent and so clear.
7. Bottoming is at all times soiled
Shit occurs! It’s true in lots of features of life, together with bottoming. However there are undoubtedly methods to maintain issues as clear as potential. Anal douching is a typical follow that many seasoned bottoms carry out to get an additional deep clear earlier than intercourse. This entails instilling an answer (often water) into the rectum to scrub out any fecal residue that could be current. Whereas it’s a widespread follow, douching earlier than bottoming is a matter of desire and may, in some circumstances, trigger extra hurt than good. Douching too usually can result in irritation or harm of the anorectal mucosal lining and disruption of the bacterial intestine microbiome. These detrimental results can result in greater charges of sexually transmitted infections (STI) and micro-traumas like anal tears (fissures) and hemorrhoids.
One other option to stop a poopy bottoming expertise is to prep nicely earlier than the bed room. Food plan might be much more essential than douching to maintain issues clear. Consuming a high-fiber eating regimen could be a game-changer. Excessive-fiber meals embrace legumes, greens, leafy greens, berries, avocado, entire grains, and unprocessed bran. A eating regimen excessive in fiber helps guarantee full evacuation of stool throughout bowel actions so there’s much less to fret about when it comes time for bottoming.
The trendy Western eating regimen could make consuming a wholesome quantity of fiber each day difficult. Supplementing fiber, with both an over-the-counter capsule or by mixing fiber-rich powder along with your favourite drink, is a simple resolution. Once you deliberately embrace fiber as a part of your each day routine, cleansing earlier than bottoming can contain shortly utilizing the toilet and rinsing off.
Bottoming is nothing new, it’s nothing unnatural. However it’s a subject that continues to be elusive for a lot of. I hope that we’ve been capable of dispel some myths about bottoming right here and give you priceless tricks to make every of your bottoming experiences memorable. Bottoming isn’t one thing to be frightened of, it’s one thing nearly anybody can get pleasure from. You don’t need to establish with our cultural representations of bottoms to get pleasure from bottoming. It’s simply one other sexual exercise to throw into the combo and preserve issues thrilling. So take a breath, loosen up, and fly your backside flag proudly. Isn’t it time you broadened your sexual horizons and turn into the ability backside you’ve at all times dreamed of turning into?
Hess, Okay. L., DiNenno, E., Sionean, C., Ivy, W., Paz-Bailey, G., & NHBS Research Group (2016). Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse Amongst Males and Girls, 20 U.S. Cities. AIDS and conduct, 20(12), 2966–2975. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10461-016-1295-z